I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
