I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
