idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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