didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
