so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
