i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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