Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
honey bunches of taint.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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