And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
