I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
