Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
