Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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