I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
