im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
