He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
