I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
