I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
