I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
