I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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