biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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