but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sober January is a disaster.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
