wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
