It's like God shit irony all over that family
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
MIDGETS
????
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
