i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This is the high leading the old right now
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
