I'm pants shitting drunk right now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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