And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
