YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
