we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
