is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
