Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
