this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
