I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
