Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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