There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
