Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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