dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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