I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
