dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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