It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
no you cant smoke seaweed
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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