Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
