He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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