i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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