is your mom at the bar?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Still dying that you shit outside
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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