i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize