Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
