It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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