Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i've created a new STD.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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