Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
