omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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