Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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