yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
