Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
