Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm passing your future prison.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
