Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
