WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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