there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
