I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
