you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
