I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
